Recently, I experienced a challenging outing with my mother. In having that experience, I learned from her that we need to cherish the memories we can have while we are still able to have them before we can no longer experience them.
As I am maturing in life, I am learning that life can’t be all about what I want and that there are others, including those that help me do things that I need to consider their needs and feelings and not be as self-centered on my own personal needs and intentions as that can seem selfish.
Many times growing up when experiencing life with my parents and seeing their faults or things they would do that I would react in a way that was not the proper way, they would often say “It will happen to you.” While many of those things haven’t happened to me yet, I am still realizing that my parents are not the same as they were when I was younger and they are getting older.
In continuing this week’s blog of Independence-Dependence, I had several examples of why it is important to be thankful for the ability to live independently and have a place to call home. After losing my first home, I now realize how close I was to losing the opportunity of ever being independent for a long time.
As I have discussed over time, being independent comes with responsibilities. Many of the responsibilities are just that, a responsibility. However autistics that are independent, myself included struggle with understanding many of the norms that many expect of us. Because many times this is not instilled as a norm in the years prior to being independent, it can continue to be a struggle to realize the need to perform what can be mundane or silly gestures as a way that others expect us.
Sometimes we don’t think before saying something. I have been guilty of doing so time and time again. Yet, I say statements that are many times simply not true, but are used as a way of wanting attention. Some of these statements can be very harming or hurtful to others and while they are meant, sometimes they cannot be retracted.
In recent years, there has been much divide between self-advocates and family members of autistics about the advocating for all autistics. Sometimes when either side is advocating for things that they are passionate about, it must be understood that it is their experience and that everyone experiences things differently as autism is indeed a spectrum disorder.
Yesterday, I had an epiphany. While I WANT to adult, I HAVE to put forth the effort to want and need the changes and the responsibilities of being an adult. For the majority of my adulthood, I have shied away from issues in life because they may require me to put my “big boy pants” on and fight them. Oftentimes, for me, anxiety is a big player in the game of adulting that really isn’t a game, because I just revert back to my immature self and refuse to deal with the issues at hand, because I personally know they are going to be unpleasant and scary for me to tackle.
He affirmed that every word of that was true and he too has his own faults and that he'd work on not being so harsh on me. It, for a moment made me happy and positive
Today in most countries around the world is Father's Day. It is a day for those in fatherly like roles to be honored for doing that fatherly duty. Yes, I have a father, and I love him greatly, but oftentimes I do not show it nor do I ever give him the respect that he deserves for tolerating me.
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