Reflections: Pushing Myself Away From Social Connection

Selfie of Membership SIgn

One of the traits of my being autistic is being socially awkward. While I have come a long way in understanding the social nuances of the world, there’s times of connecting with others that has caused a regression of wanting to extend myself out again with the feeling of being hurt or rejected for who I am, although in many cases, I am assured that is not the case and I am accepted for who I am.

Adulting: Self-Sabotage

The Hiram G. Andres Center near Johnstown, PA, USA

Recently, I have been mostly in a bad spot. I have realized that I have spun into this pattern of self-sabotage of not wanting to reach out to those that reach out to me for friendship and support. I live in fear of many actions that I have experienced in past experiences and relationships that came mostly from toxic people, although not all people are that way, I automatically jump to that theory because of having many toxic relationships and having skewed thoughts.

Wellness Wednesday: Meditation, Grounding and Relaxing

A Photo showing the First Unitarian Church of Pittsburgh in the Shadyside neighborhood of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania USA

For many years, I thought of meditation as a waste or one of those things for hippies or old people. I was taught grounding and relaxing techniques near when I hit rock bottom over two years ago. I am now realizing the benefits of these things and incorporating them into my daily life and how much better they make me feel in my life and my ability to conquer things.

What Everyone Else Does

Tent Camping

In recent weeks, I have been accepting the need for free time where I am not engaged in an object or item at hand. For most of my life, until I chose not to have Cable TV in my own home at 35, when it has been all I know, I am realizing that I can choose and limit the content I watch in order to keep me entertained and not so much engaged in something.

Reflections: Autistic Burnout & Free Time

A Pavilion at a local park

Over the years, I have been reading more about Autistic Burnout and exactly what it is. I think that I have always experienced it, but never understood it, nor have I accepted the fact that it is OK to not be constantly engaged in something, whether it be a special interest or something that I like to do that isn’t an interest. I am starting to learn finally that autisicic burnout is something that comes with the autism diagnosis and that accepting it will put my mind more at ease and I will be able to function better in life.